Hitting on models and female employees at shows

[Evil Chris]

OK I read a little something about this on another board, and quite honestly I found it to be completely a non-issue for me, but I thought it was worth asking here. Also, we have a lot of ladies on XNations, and I wanted to get their feelings on it as well.

The question was if you are bringing a female (model or employee) to a show/convention with you, should you monitor who is hitting on her and chaperone her or lay down rules that say she can't go off and get lucky or spend intimate time with someone else?

[Ronaldo]

Thievin' bastard!

I'm torn on the issue. I do think the person bringing the model/employee have some sort of responsibility to ensure their safety, but that being said, because they're adults, you do have to allow them their space.

[Trixxxia]

I personally think it all depends on who the person is. Do they have a tendancy to put themselves into situations where they have to say no? Have they gotten out of those situations unscathed?
If you're bringing someone new to a show, they should really get the worst case scenario laid out to them.

If you are bringing someone to represent you that is new to the industry or has never been in 'this' crowd, then I think there is a certain responsibility on their safety - and if you can't get through to them, then let them be warned of all the worst case scenarios.

It's much simpler to bring a guy along - he can get laid all he wants and you won't have to worry about him LMAO

**sounds chauvanistic huh?

[happypeekers]

If they show up on time for work when you need them.. I would let them run free.. with tons of business cards and decked out in clothing with my logo on it lol

on the other hand.. if you dont want to lose her you might want to keep her close

:laughout:

[Ronaldo]

If they show up on time for work when you need them.. I would let them run free.. with tons of business cards and decked out in clothing with my logo on it lol

on the other hand.. if you dont want to lose her you might want to keep her close

:laughout:

Surely I'm not the only one that knows of the NOW popular, THEN newbie company rep who's drink was drugged about 3 years ago. Would you want them to run free and run the risk of that happening? I don't think I could live with myself if something like that happened to someone I brought to a show.

[happypeekers]

Surely I'm not the only one that knows of the NOW popular, THEN newbie company rep who's drink was drugged about 3 years ago. Would you want them to run free and run the risk of that happening? I don't think I could live with myself if something like that happened to someone I brought to a show.

I am not familiar with that story but I agree with you in that way as well .. you will lose her that way

[Evil Chris]

Ron, you could live with yourself. Something like that wouldn't be your fault despite you feeling bad for the person. It's just my opinion that people are supposed to be responsible adults.

Just because they got on an airplane with you doesn't mean you're their Daddy.

[Ronaldo]

Ron, you could live with yourself. Something like that wouldn't be your fault despite you feeling bad for the person. It's just my opinion that people are supposed to be responsible adults.

Just because they got on an airplane with you doesn't mean you're their Daddy.

A lady at a bar with a group of her industry "Peers" gets her drink drugged...I don't think SHE'S being irresponsible. Thankfully in the case I mentioned, her employers WERE right there so nothing happened. But what if they weren't? Something may have happened and I wouldn't blame her in the least for being irresponsible. There's some fucked up people out there man, and sadly some of them reside within our industry. BECAUSE I know that, yeah, I'd always feel responsible.

[RageCash-Ben]

If a person,male or female, is being paid to attend any function then they should act professionally.

Thats my 2 cents worth.

[Ronaldo]

If a person,male or female, is being paid to attend any function then they should act professionally.

Thats my 2 cents worth.

???

And acting professionally means what exactly? You're expected to network amongst a group of often drunk strangers. Someone could be drinking OJ all night long and still end up with a drugged drink and in a compromising position.

If they're drunk and go off with someone of their own volition, that's one thing. They put themselves in that position...sort of. We were all newbies at one point experiencing the excitement of our first show with the booze a flowin'. Neither you or I are a hot 18 year old model though that would have to worry about that.

Oh, and if they're pissed and flashing their boobs is THAT professional? But I'd almost wager that if it brought in a couple of traffic whales, most programs would send that rep to as many shows as possible. Profit over professionalism??

[RageCash-Ben]

Maybe by acting professional I meant doing whatever it is they are being paid to do. ;)

[Panky]

I've been hit on at shows and miscellaneous webmaster events. I'm not 18 anymore and I'm not model perfect. However, I am a woman in this industry. Getting hit on, grabbed, and/or spoken to as if we are somehow inferior to many males in this industry is part of the territory. Right or wrong, it's come to be expected. It's how one chooses to deal with a situation that makes the difference. A negative situation can turn into a positive one if a person knows how to handle themselves. It is just something that is learned. Sure speaking to someone, warning them, giving them the heads up, can minimize or avoid any potential unfortunate or uncomfortable situations, but in the end, the woman has to learn to stand on her own two feet.

If a naive 18 year old is attending the shows and really doesn't have full comprehension of the various types of men and women in this industry, one option is to pair her up with an older model or woman who has webmaster event experience. One who knows how to work a show at the same time being able to leave a positive impression on potential business deals. This responsible woman can show her the ropes better than any man could do. The men are there when needed should a situation get out of hand, but having another woman show someone inexperienced the ropes, it allows the men to be free to conduct their business man to man, revisit possible deals, or just simply be guys. It also opens the doors to more exposure and potential business because some men can easily intimidate other men whether they try to or not. Many male webmasters sometimes find talking to females, especially if they give the impression they are approachable, a little easier than talking to another male. Also if there are female webmasters or solo models looking to get into the industry around, they may feel more comfortable chatting with another female, versus breaking into and holding their own in a male dominated industry.

Women need to be responsible for their own actions. They can be warned and watched over, but that only does so much. In the end, she is going to make decisions. She has to do this in every day life whether she is at a webmaster event or not. A woman has to learn that there is a time to "be cute", a time to party, and a time to cut the BS and act like a responsible, professional business person. The adult industry is a business first and foremost.

When companies invite men and/or women to attend the show, speak to your employees about what your expectations of them are. Make it very clear as to what is deemed acceptable and unacceptable behavior and the consequences should their behavior be unacceptable. Always send a responsible veteran with someone who has less experience. If you've got models or new reps, always pair them with another responsible female with experience. Don't let the inexperienced ones fly solo until you are confident that they can handle themselves and still be able to leave a positive impression of the company.

One can't keep watch 24/7, nor should they because these women are still adults regardless if they are naive or not. But, there are things that can be done that can help minimize any potential problems. Let her know you are there, but don't smother her. She's an adult, not a teenager.

[Jimmidean]

Well I think you have to look out for those you bring.
If they are new and not well versed on what goes on I feel you need to look out for them.
As I only bring my wife I always look out for her, luckily we have a lot of friends in this industry who do the same.
I will say we have had a couple of scary incidents I wont go into with a few slimballs that came very close to loosing the lives.
There are a select few that think women in this industry are open season at webmaster events, It is up to the rest of us to correct them and step in when needed.

[Sheri Santiago]

I've taken several of our solo girls to shows. I won't let them go far. They are on my dime, they stick with me. Far too many times I have had drunken guys try to take them to their rooms, bribe them with the promise of weed, pills, whatever...or try to get the girl to do a site with them instead.

[Porn Girl]

I think that at the first 2 shows that you should stick together regardless so that the model or sales rep can meet some people that you know. Once she gets to know some people and has shown she is responsible at the shows, then I would leave her alone. Call it a training period!!!

[aimeesweet]

You should definitely look out for the people you bring with you to shows, whether male or female. I especially see it as important when the person is new to the industry as there is a lot of alcohol fueling the activities. Although a guy is less likely to be hit on and taken advantage of then a female, you don't want your male employee acting inappropriately to any of the females who are attending the show. Just as you do not want your cute female employee man-handled etc, you wouldn't want your new male employee to grope any females either...

So like Porn Girl said, maybe a "training period" is a good idea ;)

[Syl]

So far I haven't had any problems with being hit on to the point where I can't handle it myself. As others have said it depends on the person. I definitely don't think shows are the place to be hooking up, since shows are supposed to be business oriented, but it's really not up to me to say what someone else should do at a show. To each their own, but everyone should just be aware of the consequences their actions will have on their reputation in the industry and possibly with their future employment.

[JackieB]

The training period, is a good idea and makes sense all round. Keep them close and brief them on there role. It's a job. One year Allen and I couldn't go so we sent Maura instead, although she had attended shows with me here in Vancouver, she had also worked as talent, she knew how to handle herself. I think she even arranged a naked hot Tub Party;) I would not have sent someone who had only worked me for a matter of weeks, and had never worked in the industry before on her own. I wouldn't be able to look out for them.

You have to know your people. Because after 12 years in the business I do know the industry!

Jackie B
ICQ 17626018
www.masktv.com

[punker barbie]

to a certain degree it is the models job to be a bit flirtatious with webmasters and fans. however some take it too far and feel just because the model gets naked on the net they are entitled to be very touchy. models should be able to have their space from a distance and depending on the situation they might need to be watched a bit closer.

as for female reps they should know better when someone is flirting/wasting your time instead of talking up biz. granted if being pretty gets you in the door to get what you want (in my case i drive for traffic) then I'll take it, but one has to remember being cute or whatever only gets you in the door doesn't make you stay. at the end of the day we all have bills to pay and i better make their traffic convert.
in addition the worst is the icq flirter that takes up all your time. i call those the high maintenance low traffic affiliate.

with every situation is different i guess what I'm trying to get across is not to forget what you are there for and female reps should be able to stand up to anyone that is making them feel uncomfortable.

[TheLegacy]

Thankfully SheDevil is a very strong woman so that if any "new" webmaster or rep even begins to hit on her she is seasoned enough to put them in their place fast. In all the years I can't remember ever hitting on anyone mostly because it's not professional and it would ruin my reputation fast. Just seen so many guys get ruined and fired because they took it too far that I don't even want that as an option.

I have been tempted a few times - just always try and remember, there's a time to play and a time to work - conventions are a time to work.

[Evil Chris]

Some great replies from some very strong women in our industry!

[B O B]

I think this goes for any industry, not just ours.

I remember going to Bar and Nightclub conventions. The only difference between the two shows is you get laid much more at the Bar conventions...

:)

[Ronaldo]

I think this goes for any industry, not just ours.

I remember going to Bar and Nightclub conventions. The only difference between the two shows is you get laid much more at the Bar conventions...

:)
lol, I always crack up when I ask the hotel staff how the show is going for them. Inevitably the reply is always, "You guys are boring. I was expecting more."

[Trouble Tonya]

I have to agree that if you are taking someone brand new to the industry they need to know what to expect, as well as what is to be expected of them.

Just because a girl is content, does not mean shes free for the groping of every drunk bastard in the room. I'm a strong female and I have to say there is certainly a way to behave and a way NOT to behave.

So far I think I've done pretty good. I only grope the girls that ask me to but allow them to grope me in return cuz ya know..turn abouts fair play.

In all seriousness things like this is how this industry gets a bad rap! Be good and mind your manners. The end! :scram:

[Ellisa]

In our business there are several things that will come into play at shows whether you choose to partake in it or not: drugs, hookers, parties, nudity.

As a business owner you should not bring someone to a show that is not aware of these possibilities. You would also do yourself well to let them know your personal point of view on the subject.

There are lots of relationships in this business that have been solidified with less than orthodox methods of friendship building. So as an employer you sort of have to decide with what you are comfortable with happening on your dime and set boundaries for your employee that way (male or female).

Now if you happen to see your employees being harassed in an obvious manner by all means say something to help them but do not harass them for talking to boys as 90% of the webmasters in this industry are boys so the fact is they may have to talk to them. An employer of mine once “rescued” me from talking to a huge traffic guy and he would never do business with me and that employer as he was so insulted by the situation… so do be careful when you choose to be a knight in shining armor that it is in fact warranted.

I think overall if you look at the successful women in this business you will see one very common character thread amongst us all and that is that we are all very strong personalities and can look after ourselves. So if you are bringing women into adult that is a trait that you should look for.

After all if you are merely acting as a babysitter why bother paying to have an employee at a show? How are you supposed to get your own work accomplished?

[Rania]

In our business there are several things that will come into play at shows whether you choose to partake in it or not: drugs, hookers, parties, nudity.

As a business owner you should not bring someone to a show that is not aware of these possibilities. You would also do yourself well to let them know your personal point of view on the subject.

There are lots of relationships in this business that have been solidified with less than orthodox methods of friendship building. So as an employer you sort of have to decide with what you are comfortable with happening on your dime and set boundaries for your employee that way (male or female).

Now if you happen to see your employees being harassed in an obvious manner by all means say something to help them but do not harass them for talking to boys as 90% of the webmasters in this industry are boys so the fact is they may have to talk to them. An employer of mine once “rescued” me from talking to a huge traffic guy and he would never do business with me and that employer as he was so insulted by the situation… so do be careful when you choose to be a knight in shining armor that it is in fact warranted.

I think overall if you look at the successful women in this business you will see one very common character thread amongst us all and that is that we are all very strong personalities and can look after ourselves. So if you are bringing women into adult that is a trait that you should look for.

After all if you are merely acting as a babysitter why bother paying to have an employee at a show? How are you supposed to get your own work accomplished?

Very well said.

[LeslieSharp]

You should definitely look out for the people you bring with you to shows, whether male or female. I especially see it as important when the person is new to the industry as there is a lot of alcohol fueling the activities. Although a guy is less likely to be hit on and taken advantage of then a female, you don't want your male employee acting inappropriately to any of the females who are attending the show. Just as you do not want your cute female employee man-handled etc, you wouldn't want your new male employee to grope any females either...

So like Porn Girl said, maybe a "training period" is a good idea ;)

I have to agree with Aimee...

Personally I enjoy harmless flirtation and I think most of the fun folks in this industry do as well. I think it is key to make sure new people realize that just because someone is having fun flirting with you doesn't mean they're trying to schtoop you that night... Although some might be...

Wisdom is the ability to know the difference and walk away from the situation without hurting anyone's feelings, being offended, or offensive.... OR MOLESTED! :bless:

xoxo
Leslie

[Funbrunette]

In my opinion our industry isn't that much different than any others. How you conduct yourself at a show strongly represents who you are and what your ethics are. If you want to be taken seriously it's important that you command respect (and that can be done while being naked...) With that said it's perfectly important to keep it fun. Nothing wrong with a little flirting and "pawing" here and there. I've met some wonderful people over the years and I've partied like rockstar all while knowing I was with people I knew and could trust.

The minute I stop to have fun at a show is the minute I know I am no longer in the right field of work.

Nice yo see some of you here at Xnations! :)

[Relentless]

Evil Chris, if this is all an elaborate way of asking if I get offended when you hit on me at shows... don't worry about it. I just laugh it off. :ban4:

[Slippery]

In our business there are several things that will come into play at shows whether you choose to partake in it or not: drugs, hookers, parties, nudity.

As a business owner you should not bring someone to a show that is not aware of these possibilities. You would also do yourself well to let them know your personal point of view on the subject.

There are lots of relationships in this business that have been solidified with less than orthodox methods of friendship building. So as an employer you sort of have to decide with what you are comfortable with happening on your dime and set boundaries for your employee that way (male or female).

Now if you happen to see your employees being harassed in an obvious manner by all means say something to help them but do not harass them for talking to boys as 90% of the webmasters in this industry are boys so the fact is they may have to talk to them. An employer of mine once “rescued” me from talking to a huge traffic guy and he would never do business with me and that employer as he was so insulted by the situation… so do be careful when you choose to be a knight in shining armor that it is in fact warranted.

I think overall if you look at the successful women in this business you will see one very common character thread amongst us all and that is that we are all very strong personalities and can look after ourselves. So if you are bringing women into adult that is a trait that you should look for.

After all if you are merely acting as a babysitter why bother paying to have an employee at a show? How are you supposed to get your own work accomplished?

Wow that was really well put!

[dyonisus]

Girl will be hit on by guys no matter what industry and no matter what the timing, its a given.

If they are there to work, that is their priority. Harmless flirtations etc are part of the industry we are in.

If there are shdy thing happening to trik the girl into sleeping with the person, that person doing th shady deal is an ASS ad I would hope not welcomed to be hanging about with us moral folks.

Elissa Well said on your part as well

[2MuchMark]

Hello Everyone,

I am kind of divided on this debate. In one way, the girls who work for LiveCamNetwork.com who come with us to shows are on "my dime". I want them to be professional, represent the company, and bring back some leads.

At the same time, they're adults, and human. You can't get in the way of young love (or lust, or quickies, or whatever). If they're going to meet someone and hookup, who am I to stand in their way?

What I hate though are idiot newbie webmasters (or even worse, idiot posers who don't know sweet fuck all about anything) who go to the shows just to get laid.

What's funny is alot of people think women in the industry are stupid. I overheard one guy, I won't say who, who could not seperate "business" and "pleasure" for more than 2 seconds during a conversation. "Yes I'd really like to do business with you", he told her, "come to my room and we can sign the deal". Like, what the fuck?

Of course there is the "talent" who are new to the industry and are busy modeling and have not learned how the business side works yet. Then there are the women who know the business inside and out. What cracks me up are the morons who can't be bothered to know who is who, or which is which. They approach all women at trade shows as if they are "dumb talent", and make a complete ass of themselves. Here's news for you. Not all "Talent" is "dumb", and not all women are "talent".

Those of you who know me know that I'm a pretty quiet person. I listen carefully to what other people say and have pretty good ears. I have seen several of the LCN girls get treated this way, right in front of me. I was embarrased for them. "Don't worry about it - the next person will take you seriously and look at your eyes instead of your tits".

As I said earlier, I'm of 2 opinions. This kind of thing will always happen in any industry. You WANT your people to behave, but you have to let them be who they are too. So at the next tradeshow, tell your hotties to represent your good name during the day, but let them play at night. Make sure they get the respect they deserve from potential new business partners though. If the new people you're about to make a deal with treats your crew badly, move on to someone else. There's lots of other people out there.

Cheers!!

[2Much Kedra]

And I have actually been asked WHY I so enjoy working for 2Much?
Mark's respect for all of the female employees here, as well as his willingness to be open about what "could" happen before we ever set foot on the trade-show floor are just 2 of the reason why!
Every show that I have been to, I've been treated as "Talent" first, and I'm cool with that...I am content for our sites, so what...
It's the idiots who refuse to acknowledge the fact that I actually have a brain and that I am not there to screw them for a sale that irritate me.
I think that any newbie; male or female, talent or tech should be watched over their first time out and intelligently INFORMED of the things that can happen at shows, without scaring the hell outta them with horror stories.
I feel it is the employer's responsibility to educate their employees about the good AND the bad, or not put new people into a situation that they may not be prepared for!

[TheEnforcer]

I think this goes for any industry, not just ours.

I remember going to Bar and Nightclub conventions. The only difference between the two shows is you get laid much more at the Bar conventions...

:)

LOL

Soooo true.. I have a few friends that know what I do and they have this idea that the conventions are an orgyfest for everyone. Was playing poker with abunch of people right after I got back from a the Hollywood FL show and one of my buddies told people I had got back from an adult webamster convention. All of sudden everybody assumed i was takign part in orgies and shit and I tried to explain I was there trying to do business and that I mostly did business and gung out with friends I've known for years and that gaming and regular workers conventions have more guests getting laid than our conventions do and nobody believed me no matter what I said. LOL

[BuggyG]

It's the idiots who refuse to acknowledge the fact that I actually have a brain and that I am not there to screw them for a sale that irritate me.


wait.. you got a brain?? So all this time that I would just stare at your boobs when I talked to you.. you never said anything

and also.. I never bring talent to shows. Past experience has shown not good idea. Which will tell ya one day. And not on a night when am home recovering from night's before Ozzy concert and have you and MediaGuy blasting me on the phone to come drinking


ps. I'm still gonna look at your boobs even if I know now that you have a brain. Boobs first. Sorry but have to set my priorities

[2Much Kedra]

wait.. you got a brain?? So all this time that I would just stare at your boobs when I talked to you.. you never said anything

and also.. I never bring talent to shows. Past experience has shown not good idea. Which will tell ya one day. And not on a night when am home recovering from night's before Ozzy concert and have you and MediaGuy blasting me on the phone to come drinking


ps. I'm still gonna look at your boobs even if I know now that you have a brain. Boobs first. Sorry but have to set my priorities

LMAO and you still didn't show! You bastard!!!

re: ps. Buggy you can look at my boobs anytime ya like, darlin! I know that you know I have a brain...err...somewhere!

[Jimmidean]

I like looking at Kedras bobbies too,
I just did not know it was that obvious.
In all honesty many people will form their opinion of you, your company or the company you represent in the few minutes you meet them once in a blue moon at a show or party.
You can use the time to promote your company, grow and solidify your relationships , find new leads and opinions on how to do things.
Or you can stare at Kedras boobies.
As I multi task well I can do both, but that is not for everyone. :)

[XXXBizTV.Com]

I took 4 pro girls to LA and have taken girls to a few expos so my take is this.

Its understandable why many promoters dont wish to take girls because no matter how much you watch or train the girls you are still entering a situation full of mostly males who specialise in getting girls to push to thier limits.

Most webmasters are really cool and straight up but each expo will contain its share of not so cool peeps.

Combine this with the fact of drink,parties,lack of sleep due to travel and many other factors inc bullshit promises and offers,to me its like putting goldfish in a pool of sharks.

Even smart girls are no match for experienced adult webmasters in most cases and Im sure youd all agree on that.

So the bottom line is this.

If I was a promotor with 1 good girl that I can stay with consistant I would take her to many shows but I wouldnt take a team of girls.