monaro
07-15-2004, 10:27 PM
This was apparently in the Washington Post... the title of the
article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County
courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing
a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and
squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles.
At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose,
cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
"Guess I was really into it, you know?"
he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process,
Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car
approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda
Taylor approached him. "That was an unusual situation, that's for sure,"
said officer Taylor "I walked up to Lawrence and he's...just pumping
away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence. "I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize
that you're having sex with a pumpkin?". " He froze and was clearly
very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the
face and said ... "A pumpkin? F*** me, is it midnight already?"
:D
article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County
courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing
a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and
squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles.
At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose,
cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
"Guess I was really into it, you know?"
he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process,
Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car
approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda
Taylor approached him. "That was an unusual situation, that's for sure,"
said officer Taylor "I walked up to Lawrence and he's...just pumping
away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence. "I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize
that you're having sex with a pumpkin?". " He froze and was clearly
very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the
face and said ... "A pumpkin? F*** me, is it midnight already?"
:D