Virgule3
I feel your pain sweetie. Some of the guys here have seen me at shows and know I'm no skinny little thing by any means. I understand where your coming from 100%. It's hard to live as a "big girl" in what is a weight obsessed society.
While I agree with the sentiments of TheLegacy and others I think that there are some aspects of being heavy come into play and are a lot harder to deal with. For instance, I'm not sure about you but I was heavy all my life and caught shit for it all my life. I can't go into a room full of people with out "knowing" that some one is talking about how fat I am. That is a learned behavior for me due to so many years of that being true.
It's a constant battle to remind myself that not every one is as weight obsessed as I am, nor are they all nasty little bastards with nothing better to do than make some one feel bad about themselves.
I will say this though, it's a mindset and not just a weight issue. If you feel like your beautiful others will also see you that way. My example? Queen Latifa. I can't count how many guys I know who think she is totally hot, even if she is over weight. But it's all about her attitude. That woman is secure in who she is and you can see it when she's on screen or in public (met her once at a mall of all places).
Lose the weight if it puts you in a better place mentally. But since there is also a mental issue at work you will have to deal with that as well or you could end up some one who loses the weight but never really sees it if you know what I mean...
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