Evil Chris kidnapped my mom and told me that if I didn't sign up and post that he would do terrible things to her like force her to watch reruns of The Beveryly Hillbillies while eating hot buttered cheerios and singing folk songs. When he found out that she actually liked that sort of treatment he released her to me. I was going to hunt him down and take out my revenge but I realized I would do more harm by signing up to this board and putting my subversive little messages into the collective psyche of the members.
Okay, I'm kidding. He ICQ'd me and asked me to join. But you have to admit, it was a damn good story.
(i really need to get out more)