Does everything happen for a reason?

[LAJ]

Regardless of WHY things happen... it's always one's responsibility to make the most out of any situation and turn a negative into a positive if you are to learn anything of it.

[DonMike]

When I first moved to LA ten years ago I got into an abusive relationship. The thing is, it wasn't a typical relationship and he wasn't physically abusive. He was manipulative and took full advantage of my weaknesses. I had moved in as a friend renting a room and eventually got into a relationship. He did everything he could to chip away at my self-esteem, alienate me from my friends and family, and make me feel trapped so that even if I did decide to leave, I would feel I had nowhere to go. I am lucky that I was able to keep somewhat of a cool head and once I realized what was happening to me I started breaking away. I had lived there for seven months and it is one of the darkest periods of my life and it took me a while to recover, emotionally, physically, financially.

Looking back on it, however, I find that there were many positive things that came out of the experience. I made some new friends, I made a change in my life that might not have come about had I not gotten into the situation in the first place, I came out stronger for the experience, and I know much better than to get into a similar situation again. The way I see it, it may not have been a bright spot in my life but it was a bridge from one good part to the next. And we can't always have everything go perfect or we wouldn't appreciate the good parts when they happen. And ever since then, when I get into a situation that really sucks, or I'm really down and depressed about things, I just remind myself that it's just a bridge taking me from one good thing to the next. And you can't always see the next good thing from the bridge but it's there. It always is.

So if you're going through a bad patch, even a horrible one, please keep in mind that this is just one small part of your life, a bridge taking you to the next good thing. And also remember that bridges can seem long, but when you look back on your life and look at all the good things, the bridges really don't seem so big. You will get through this and you're on your way to another good thing. And you have all of the wonderful people of this board and the good people in your life to help you get over this bridge, don't you ever forget that.

[Vid Vicious]

Originally Posted by DonMike

When I first moved to LA ten years ago I got into an abusive relationship. The thing is, it wasn't a typical relationship and he wasn't physically abusive. He was manipulative and took full advantage of my weaknesses. I had moved in as a friend renting a room and eventually got into a relationship. He did everything he could to chip away at my self-esteem, alienate me from my friends and family, and make me feel trapped so that even if I did decide to leave, I would feel I had nowhere to go. I am lucky that I was able to keep somewhat of a cool head and once I realized what was happening to me I started breaking away. I had lived there for seven months and it is one of the darkest periods of my life and it took me a while to recover, emotionally, physically, financially.

Looking back on it, however, I find that there were many positive things that came out of the experience. I made some new friends, I made a change in my life that might not have come about had I not gotten into the situation in the first place, I came out stronger for the experience, and I know much better than to get into a similar situation again. The way I see it, it may not have been a bright spot in my life but it was a bridge from one good part to the next. And we can't always have everything go perfect or we wouldn't appreciate the good parts when they happen. And ever since then, when I get into a situation that really sucks, or I'm really down and depressed about things, I just remind myself that it's just a bridge taking me from one good thing to the next. And you can't always see the next good thing from the bridge but it's there. It always is.

So if you're going through a bad patch, even a horrible one, please keep in mind that this is just one small part of your life, a bridge taking you to the next good thing. And also remember that bridges can seem long, but when you look back on your life and look at all the good things, the bridges really don't seem so big. You will get through this and you're on your way to another good thing. And you have all of the wonderful people of this board and the good people in your life to help you get over this bridge, don't you ever forget that.

Very well said ...

I feel similar when I look back at 2008 .. It was a very hard year on me, both finance, personal and health .. I was able to take back control of my health and now I'm on the road to being in the best shape of my life! ... I took back Control of my personal life and found out I have lots ot offer, not just money and knowning the right people . but I have my heart which is worth alot. I'm very considerite of my partners feelings and very respectful. I thought I had lost things ..as my last partner also chipped away at my self esteem.
Now I'm workin on Finance .this will be way harder then I thought .. But like you said .. It's only a bridge to a better place .. And I must walk thru it to get there .. Great post Don, very inspiring

[DonMike]

Originally Posted by Vid Vicious

Very well said ...

I feel similar when I look back at 2008 .. It was a very hard year on me, both finance, personal and health .. I was able to take back control of my health and now I'm on the road to being in the best shape of my life! ... I took back Control of my personal life and found out I have lots ot offer, not just money and knowning the right people . but I have my heart which is worth alot. I'm very considerite of my partners feelings and very respectful. I thought I had lost things ..as my last partner also chipped away at my self esteem.
Now I'm workin on Finance .this will be way harder then I thought .. But like you said .. It's only a bridge to a better place .. And I must walk thru it to get there .. Great post Don, very inspiring

Thank you. I read this post last week when I was really busy but just reread it and was struck with a very important message. You said you took back "Control" over your life. That is such a great way to put it. I decided back in November to start going to the gym again and getting myself healthier and have found every excuse in actually doing it. I'm always saying "I have no self-control" when it comes to eating bad foods and not exercising. I'm not down on myself for having a belly, but I don't want to end up with diabetes and heart problems, so I need to take better care of myself. And your post makes total sense. By eating bad foods and not exercising you're letting others control you. You let the food industry talk you into eating unhealthy products, you let people take your time away from the gym, you let society make you feel bad about yourself so you'll buy diet products that don't work. The only way to make yourself better is to take control of your life and make it happen.

From one inspiring post to another, thank you.