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Old 11-21-2004, 09:41 PM   #1
monaro
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Default Something funny for monday.

okay something that might make you laugh, infact it made me cry.


While I was driving down the highway the other day, (going a little
faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a
copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper
pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising
smirk, asked:
"Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher??
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work
side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do
you do with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
behind a bridge..."
Speeding ticket: $185.00
Penalty Points: 3
Look on copper's face: Priceless.
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Old 11-21-2004, 10:02 PM   #2
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LOL that's a good one, I think I might have heard it a while ago. Good refresher!
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Old 11-22-2004, 06:10 AM   #3
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lol...good stuff! thanks for sharing it Monaro. you just made my sad day a fun.
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Old 11-22-2004, 07:37 AM   #4
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LMAO!!!! Great way to start the week!

Have a GREAT week everyone!
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Old 11-22-2004, 10:29 AM   #5
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Hahahahaa..... I´ll remember that one for next time I wanna be taken to jail..... down here cops don´t know what they´re doing.... in fact:

recently a local cop who was working at a school air-tazer´d a 6 year old boy.... The air tazer shot two darts into the boy followed by 500,000 volts of electric current...... Lawsuits pending.... then a week later, they did the same thing to a 12 year old girl... which leads me to believe that cops can´t protect us from children, how do they plan on stopping anything really bad from happening...

btw: the girl was skipping school, and the cop said ¨I was protecting her from doing any harm to herself¨ and they didnt comment about the boy.... but thats a good one Mark... hehe
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Old 11-22-2004, 05:21 PM   #6
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Old 11-23-2004, 10:52 AM   #7
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LMAO..
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Old 11-24-2004, 02:35 PM   #8
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lol
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Old 11-24-2004, 03:04 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by kaustic
and they didnt comment about the boy.... but thats a good one Mark... hehe
the little boy had a piece of broken glass that 6 adults couldn't get away from him.

Which makes me think that it was either a REALLY big six year old boy or a bunch of whimpy cops.
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Old 11-25-2004, 11:59 PM   #10
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hahahaha . . . .

whatta . . . . . .

i could imagine it now . . .
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Old 11-26-2004, 01:13 AM   #11
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lol...that's funny!

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Old 11-26-2004, 04:40 AM   #12
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This was like last monday and like right now I'm watching ICEAGE for the very first time on TV and can not stop laughing.

Well it just started and shall sit back with my arms folded to watch it.
Have a good weekend everybody!
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Old 11-28-2004, 01:06 AM   #13
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lol
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